What is important is the journey.
I began this path on nonviolence, consciously, a few years ago. My eyes opened to other views and worlds, and a broader meaning of the idea of compassion during the course of about 6 months or so.
My father was diagnosed with the inoperable pancreatic cancer.
That day began as any other. Possibly a lunch meeting. Some errands. When I got home, my parents wanted to talk to me, both with tears in their eyes. And out came the news. And then we all went off to a show I had in Garrettesville. The moment was deeply surreal, and in fact, it took a few days before it really started to sink in. Actually, I'd be lying if I said it didn't really sink in until he began chemo. The days when he was violently ill became more prevalent than days when he felt good enough to take a drive or go out to get some food. He began wasting away, right in front of us.
And the doctors could care less.
As long as we were paying their invoices, of course ...
Like in the Truman show, when a stage light falls into Truman's way, and he has to question what is this that he thinks is his life, when he realizes that his world is not the full picture, so was I. Seeing the nasty side of humanity, the neatherparts of how we systematically treat each other, only made me question more.
With each question came, instead of an answer, more questions.
As we walk down our paths of enlightenment, which is where I feel we all are ultimately yearning to reach, the path is made out of questions, not answers.
The longer we stay on this path, the less important the answers become. Understanding is the gate to compassion and thus enlightenment. Understanding does not come from answers but the experience of questioning.
The act of questioning is a process. It is a life-long process. It is every bit as important in middle age or in our golden years as it is as a young person.
Where our questions lead us, we cannot tell in the present. We must trust the process, and that we are heading to our goal. But we have to make sure we are moving toward compassion. The only answers that are untruthful are ones that point to violence and intolerance.
Our own process will probably bring us to the same questions over and over again. They may resurface at different points along this journey. And they might always lead us to the same conclusions. This is important to keep in mind.
We must also remember that it is a process. Having a major moral breakthrough today does not mean that we will never have to have that same breakthrough again.
A good example of this in my own life is the ideas of pro-choice vs. pro-life. I like this example, because people are heavily divided, and we rarely look at the other sides view of these very polarizing views. Plus, I believe a lot of views that we hold strongly to, might not even be our views. There are a lot of opinions we tout as our own that are actually the product of our parents, or society's brainwashing. I do not intend the word "brainwashing" to be as harsh as it sounds. Our society holds certain truths to be self-evident that we are strongly discouraged from questioning. And so we don't.
Now, I'd like to present an example of questioning that I have done recently. This came about through a conversation about Ohio's state house of representitives members calling a fetus to testify on one of the most extreme anti-abortion bills in the nation.
I am only going to address the abortion aspect of this issue. I do not want to get into the hypocrisy of those that use the term pro-life while supporting war, the death penalty and the eating of animals.
This has always been a difficult issue, and it has gotten even more so recently. As I have fervently devoted my life to nonviolence, it becomes at a very principled level, morally impossible to support any form of violence. In meditating on nonviolence, I am constantly aware of the violence inherent in our language and phrases. And many other places.
Does this mean that I am perfect? Of course not. I am far from such a title. Am I any furhter along my path than other people? I think that's an impossible question to answer as we are all on a different path, though it might be similar. It's also not the question we really need to be asking, I don't think. We should not care about where we are on our paths, especially in comparison to others. This is not a competition. Everybody reaches the goal. Everybody wins. It might be soon or it might be one thousand lifetimes from now.
But my goal should be to constantly question.
While I can't morally supoprt abortion, I feel at some level unable to morally oppose it. The problems for me arise in the context.
Many abortions are the result of situations caused by our society. Though the individual does make a decision, it is a lot of times a decision that our scoiety has given her no alternative to.
The societal context here is that what is needed, is not the outlaw of abortions, but the prevention of the situation that could lead to this outcome. This is a difficult and complex problem. There is not one magic answer. Education is very important. As it is to realize that people, especially young people, have very strong natural urges and hormones. This does not mean we need to accept that excuse, simply to understand that it is an obsticle. Also is the issue of parental involvement. When parents don't care, there is a good chance that the child will be more likely to act out, or to follow their natural urges for their own pleasure.
This is certainly not entirely the fault of the child. Economic issues and poverty also play a very large role. When our society creates a system where people in poverty cannot escape its heavy grasp, where education is poor, where employment is not viable or not enough to sustain, where for various reasons children may be forced to be on their own without either constructive role models, or parents deeply over-worked to the point of being unable to pay as much attention as they'd like, we have a broken system that creates outcomes. Violence is part of this outcome, as well. Which is why it is important to work at fixing these problems, rather than demonize all who find themselves in these situations. In fact, I feel we need to be more compassionate for people in these times.
I feel it a moral disservice to ostrasize and make illegal the act, without offering valid alternatives.
Making abortion fully illegal (even when the mother's life is at risk, or in the case of rape or incest), will not get rid of this act. Just as outlawing cocaine has not made it disappear, or alcohol, as history pointed out dramatically in the prohibition.
Without education, economic changes, and societal understanding, people unready to have children will find themselves in this situation. Especially as teen pregnancies rise, and puberty hits earlier and earlier (thanks to hormones inherent and added to the diary products we encourage our children to ingest), people find themselves in a nealry insurmountable situation. They are outcast by the churches, by the school, possibly by their parents. Too often, I hear of communties and governments calling rape victims "accusers" instead of victims. It seems our society, to a great extent, would rather pass judgement rather than try to help each other.
And now we face the only alternatives, such as organizations to help the people who find themselves in this situation, and they are continually underfunded or unfunded. How do you tell a 15 year old who made a bad decision that they need to have that child, but they must do it completely on their own. Perhaps because the organization that helps teen mothers learn to be parents has lost its funding, and needed to shut its doors. Plus, is it the government's place to make a law about this? What is the punishment, jailtime? To look to locking up people as an answer is not a path of compassion, as there is little help in jails to help people fit back into society, especially those that could fit into society with some counciling, job training, and education. It also can't be some sort of councilling, since there is no funding for that, especially in our current financial climate, and to mandate more unfunded programs only leads to to continuance of the cycle.
If we focus on the context, then I feel issues like this will diminish. Perhaps it's learning to look at the big picture, even when we're in the very thick of the trees. It's not easy. Difficulty is not a reason to back down though.
At the same time, I can't say that we should encourage people to have abortions. And so it goes, the more we look into this situation, and most situations.
These are examples of questioning I think we all need to go through on ALL of our opinions.
I also think it's important to note that we do not have to agree with someone's point of view. But we have to look at it. To actually try to understand it - beyond the talking points. We need to find the context, and understand that person's reality. That is really tough, but very important nonetheless.
I know I find myself putting that person in my shoes, at least as much I put myself in that person's shoes.
It's my hope that this prompts some good discussion. And helps people to begin questioning, to continue questioning, and to realise that not knowing the answer isn't a bad thing.
I began this path on nonviolence, consciously, a few years ago. My eyes opened to other views and worlds, and a broader meaning of the idea of compassion during the course of about 6 months or so.
My father was diagnosed with the inoperable pancreatic cancer.
That day began as any other. Possibly a lunch meeting. Some errands. When I got home, my parents wanted to talk to me, both with tears in their eyes. And out came the news. And then we all went off to a show I had in Garrettesville. The moment was deeply surreal, and in fact, it took a few days before it really started to sink in. Actually, I'd be lying if I said it didn't really sink in until he began chemo. The days when he was violently ill became more prevalent than days when he felt good enough to take a drive or go out to get some food. He began wasting away, right in front of us.
And the doctors could care less.
As long as we were paying their invoices, of course ...
Like in the Truman show, when a stage light falls into Truman's way, and he has to question what is this that he thinks is his life, when he realizes that his world is not the full picture, so was I. Seeing the nasty side of humanity, the neatherparts of how we systematically treat each other, only made me question more.
With each question came, instead of an answer, more questions.
As we walk down our paths of enlightenment, which is where I feel we all are ultimately yearning to reach, the path is made out of questions, not answers.
The longer we stay on this path, the less important the answers become. Understanding is the gate to compassion and thus enlightenment. Understanding does not come from answers but the experience of questioning.
The act of questioning is a process. It is a life-long process. It is every bit as important in middle age or in our golden years as it is as a young person.
Where our questions lead us, we cannot tell in the present. We must trust the process, and that we are heading to our goal. But we have to make sure we are moving toward compassion. The only answers that are untruthful are ones that point to violence and intolerance.
Our own process will probably bring us to the same questions over and over again. They may resurface at different points along this journey. And they might always lead us to the same conclusions. This is important to keep in mind.
We must also remember that it is a process. Having a major moral breakthrough today does not mean that we will never have to have that same breakthrough again.
A good example of this in my own life is the ideas of pro-choice vs. pro-life. I like this example, because people are heavily divided, and we rarely look at the other sides view of these very polarizing views. Plus, I believe a lot of views that we hold strongly to, might not even be our views. There are a lot of opinions we tout as our own that are actually the product of our parents, or society's brainwashing. I do not intend the word "brainwashing" to be as harsh as it sounds. Our society holds certain truths to be self-evident that we are strongly discouraged from questioning. And so we don't.
Now, I'd like to present an example of questioning that I have done recently. This came about through a conversation about Ohio's state house of representitives members calling a fetus to testify on one of the most extreme anti-abortion bills in the nation.
I am only going to address the abortion aspect of this issue. I do not want to get into the hypocrisy of those that use the term pro-life while supporting war, the death penalty and the eating of animals.
This has always been a difficult issue, and it has gotten even more so recently. As I have fervently devoted my life to nonviolence, it becomes at a very principled level, morally impossible to support any form of violence. In meditating on nonviolence, I am constantly aware of the violence inherent in our language and phrases. And many other places.
Does this mean that I am perfect? Of course not. I am far from such a title. Am I any furhter along my path than other people? I think that's an impossible question to answer as we are all on a different path, though it might be similar. It's also not the question we really need to be asking, I don't think. We should not care about where we are on our paths, especially in comparison to others. This is not a competition. Everybody reaches the goal. Everybody wins. It might be soon or it might be one thousand lifetimes from now.
But my goal should be to constantly question.
While I can't morally supoprt abortion, I feel at some level unable to morally oppose it. The problems for me arise in the context.
Many abortions are the result of situations caused by our society. Though the individual does make a decision, it is a lot of times a decision that our scoiety has given her no alternative to.
The societal context here is that what is needed, is not the outlaw of abortions, but the prevention of the situation that could lead to this outcome. This is a difficult and complex problem. There is not one magic answer. Education is very important. As it is to realize that people, especially young people, have very strong natural urges and hormones. This does not mean we need to accept that excuse, simply to understand that it is an obsticle. Also is the issue of parental involvement. When parents don't care, there is a good chance that the child will be more likely to act out, or to follow their natural urges for their own pleasure.
This is certainly not entirely the fault of the child. Economic issues and poverty also play a very large role. When our society creates a system where people in poverty cannot escape its heavy grasp, where education is poor, where employment is not viable or not enough to sustain, where for various reasons children may be forced to be on their own without either constructive role models, or parents deeply over-worked to the point of being unable to pay as much attention as they'd like, we have a broken system that creates outcomes. Violence is part of this outcome, as well. Which is why it is important to work at fixing these problems, rather than demonize all who find themselves in these situations. In fact, I feel we need to be more compassionate for people in these times.
I feel it a moral disservice to ostrasize and make illegal the act, without offering valid alternatives.
Making abortion fully illegal (even when the mother's life is at risk, or in the case of rape or incest), will not get rid of this act. Just as outlawing cocaine has not made it disappear, or alcohol, as history pointed out dramatically in the prohibition.
Without education, economic changes, and societal understanding, people unready to have children will find themselves in this situation. Especially as teen pregnancies rise, and puberty hits earlier and earlier (thanks to hormones inherent and added to the diary products we encourage our children to ingest), people find themselves in a nealry insurmountable situation. They are outcast by the churches, by the school, possibly by their parents. Too often, I hear of communties and governments calling rape victims "accusers" instead of victims. It seems our society, to a great extent, would rather pass judgement rather than try to help each other.
And now we face the only alternatives, such as organizations to help the people who find themselves in this situation, and they are continually underfunded or unfunded. How do you tell a 15 year old who made a bad decision that they need to have that child, but they must do it completely on their own. Perhaps because the organization that helps teen mothers learn to be parents has lost its funding, and needed to shut its doors. Plus, is it the government's place to make a law about this? What is the punishment, jailtime? To look to locking up people as an answer is not a path of compassion, as there is little help in jails to help people fit back into society, especially those that could fit into society with some counciling, job training, and education. It also can't be some sort of councilling, since there is no funding for that, especially in our current financial climate, and to mandate more unfunded programs only leads to to continuance of the cycle.
If we focus on the context, then I feel issues like this will diminish. Perhaps it's learning to look at the big picture, even when we're in the very thick of the trees. It's not easy. Difficulty is not a reason to back down though.
At the same time, I can't say that we should encourage people to have abortions. And so it goes, the more we look into this situation, and most situations.
These are examples of questioning I think we all need to go through on ALL of our opinions.
I also think it's important to note that we do not have to agree with someone's point of view. But we have to look at it. To actually try to understand it - beyond the talking points. We need to find the context, and understand that person's reality. That is really tough, but very important nonetheless.
I know I find myself putting that person in my shoes, at least as much I put myself in that person's shoes.
It's my hope that this prompts some good discussion. And helps people to begin questioning, to continue questioning, and to realise that not knowing the answer isn't a bad thing.
The only hang-up I have with everything you've said here is that you said you are "morally unable to oppose" abortion.
ReplyDeleteYes, we need to educate kids. Yes, we need to provide services to teenage mothers so that they can afford to take care of a baby. Yes, abortion is a sad symptom of poverty, societal norms, etc.
But I have a problem with ever making it ok to take another human life. Yes, we need to be able to offer these mothers realistic alternatives and we need to emphasize birth control education for kids so that abortion isn't needed as birth control.
But it sticks in my throat to ever be able to say that it would be ok for a woman to have an abortion.
I've been working toward reconciling my own beliefs with a consistent life ethic. And that is difficult when you have those who claim to be pro-life but simultaneously pro-war or pro-capital punishment. Pro-life means pro-life, in every situation.
You yourself have talked about the concept of "the other", as gleaned from your readings. As we objectify lives that are no our own, be they human or animal, we are therefore able to commit atrocious acts against those lives because we view them as "not us." We designate "farm animals" and cruelly torture them before we murder them and eat them. We call the people in "enemy" countries "terrorists" so that we will feel better when we're dropping bombs on them.
We call an unborn child a "fetus" so that we don't have to think about how a baby is being killed.
This is the exact same principle.
I know about--and struggle--with those "exceptional situations", cases of rape or incest, cases where the mother's or the child's life is in danger. But I cannot help but to think that if this were a person standing next to you, no different from yourself other than the fact that society, for one reason or another, says that this human being is inconvenient and therefore should be killed, I simply cannot justify it.
Firstly, I came across this wonderful quote today:
ReplyDeleteWorldly fools search for exotic masters, not realizing that their own mind is the master - Bodhidharma
Secondly, thanks for adding to the discussion Theresa!
I am in opposition to all violence. This includes economic violence. This issue is always such an interesting one to discuss because it brings out strong views. As I continue on my journey, all I can say for certain is that I oppose violence. I also oppose scapegoating, blaming without intent of fixing a situation, economic deprevation, and verbal violence. What does that mean in reality, in practice? All I know for sure is that it means I hold myself to an ideal that I am continually striving for. This ideal is a far distance away, but as long as I am trying for it I am doing the best and most that I can.
These are my thoughts.
Economic violence is a good word for it. But I also think that if, say a pregnant teen is the result of economic violence, then we are only compounding this problem if she then has an abortion. We continue and perpetuate the cycle of violence.
ReplyDeleteIt just seems to me that while people are fighting so hard for a woman's right to an abortion, their energy could be better spent on fighting poverty, fighting for education for underprivileged teens, fighting for support for teenage parents.
It makes me sad that we live in an instant gratification society. We want quick and easy solutions to all problems, regardless of what they are. But oftentimes, these problems are bigger and more complex than we are willing to invest the time and energy into solving.